Goal Update 3

1. Make it through the next 18 days of working this temp job.
2. Organize all of my notes from the following classes into one folder by subject matter: ANA 109 & 110, NUR 861, 863, 866, 870, 871.  Going to tackle ANA 109 & 110 today FOR REAL.
3. Clean out and organize my dressing table.
4. Finish unpacking my den.  Planning to do this on Tuesday when me and A have the day off together.
5. Clean out and organize my desk.
6. Hang the artwork around the house.  A few more to hang, will finish tonight.
7. Buy a futon.  COMPLETED
8. Get my characters to levels 75 (-31), 25 (-10) & 15 (-7).  Bella is 44, Emi is 15 and Ambree is 8.
9. Read through and test with both of my NCLEX review books.  Pages: (-438).  Have been slacking hardcore on this one!  Ugh I can't seem to keep my focus so I'll have to do some timed reading sessions. [Reinforcing how horrible I am at this!]
10. Save up $500 in cash. When I get paid this week, I plan on putting at least $50 in the piggy bank.
11. Finish reading the Gossip Girl and Luxe book series.  Still waiting on the hold for Rumors.
12. Buy a cookbook and make 5 new recipes. Going to get a cookbook from the library and copy from it, set plan for this is first week of August.
13. Plan out a mini vacation with A.  Waiting on A's work to come out with a schedule so we can see whether or not it's even possible.
14. Work out.  Really want to start doing Slim in 6 again.
15. Finish my video project.
16. Read a bunch of books I've been wanting to read for awhile.  Reading The Giver with A before bed at night, and will be reading Freakonomics on my own.
17. Watch Arrested Development.

NEW GOALS
18. Meal Planner Calendar.  Going to type up and print out the different meals today.

CHANGE OR DIE!!!!!!

Goal Update

1. Make it through the next 30 days of working this temp job.
2. Organize all of my notes from the following classes into one folder by subject matter: ANA 109 & 110, NUR 861, 863, 866, 870, 871.
3. Clean out and organize my dressing table.
4. Finish unpacking my den.  Set to do this on Thursday, when me and A are both off work.
5. Clean out and organize my desk.
6. Hang the artwork around the house.  Set to do this on Thursday, as well.
7. Buy a futon.  Looking and comparing prices online.
8. Get my characters to levels 75 & 25.
9. Read through and test with both of my NCLEX review books.  Have been slacking hardcore on this one.  Get caught up to the schedule tonight!
10. Save up $500 (-$100) in cash. Transferred $100 over to savings from checking today.
11. Finish reading the Gossip Girl and Luxe book series.  Actually finished the "official" Gossip Girl series, but apparently there is another book out there that's the prequel to the first book in the series, so I'm debating whether or not I've "finished" it or not.
12. Buy a cookbook and make 5 new recipes.
13. Plan out a mini vacation with A. We're discussing a road trip to Texas to visit my mom and some friends.  Probably will be spending at least some of my saved up money on this vacation if it happens.
14. Work out.  Have been slacking.
15. Finish my video project.

Work:
Interestingly enough, my job is not that bad, and I'm finding a lot of things to spend my money on.  I really need to get a good pair of tennis shoes, though.  I honestly think if my feet didn't hurt so bad at the end of the work day, I would almost enjoy the monotony of the job.  No customers, no bullshit, no talking, and after working with the public for years in jobs I didn't like, it's at least nice to nix that out of the equation for once.  Although I'm not sure trading giving up customers is worth giving up air conditioning...
  
Other stuff:
I think I want to get a guided journal and I've been looking on Amazon for some.  The ones that I found that I think I like:
The Self-Esteem Workbook 
The Self-Esteem Guided Journal 

It's not so much that I have super low self-esteem or anything like that, but I do find that I have a lot of internal criticism of myself throughout the day.  I also am prone to letting other people's negativity rub off on me.  I think it would be interesting to go through and do exercises like this for myself to find out a better idea of who I "really" am inside.  A lot of times when I write, I feel so all over the place and don't seem to really get to the point.  A guided journal or workbook can help me focus better.  I was passing the time at work yesterday in my head by listing out good things, things that I like about myself.  I like the positive self-talk I've been doing in my head lately, and I'm hoping that getting one or both of those books would reinforce it.

Why I'm never eating dairy again (rant)

Warning: This post is all about poop and vomit.  Seriously.  If that bothers you, avert your eyes now!  The graphic nature of this post is intended to scare my ass and serve as a reminder.

I wouldn't say every time, but most times that I eat processed dairy products, I end up regretting it in one way or another.  This time, I'm regretting it out of both ends and all angles.  (Haha, joke.  Funny.  Yeaaah.)

All of my life, I've had what I would call an abnormal bowel pattern.  I go through stages where I have diarrhea for a week, and then another week of constipation.  I spend more time than most sitting on the pot doubled over in pain.  In fact, my favorite version of this is when I alternate between diarrhea and puking my guts out, which typically happens at least once every few months.  This was my case tonight.

Because of the move coming up really soon, we decided to buy frozen food and easy to make things because it was going to be easier than getting a bunch of pots and pans dirty to prepare things.  Tonight we ate the three cheese frozen pizza.

One word: Mistake.

Around 3 am, I wake up with a horrible headache, so I drink a glass of water and down a couple of Excedrin.  I figure it's related to my pillow situation, so I get my really squishy and fat pillow and use it instead of the puny one.  A wakes up, I tell him about the headache and he rubs my head and neck for awhile until I feel better.  About an hour later, my stomach starts getting that urge, so I head to the bathroom to do my thing.  Of course, it's diarrhea.  As usual, the pain barely subsides as I release my bowels.  Meanwhile, I feel some vertigo and malaise.  And, again typical, I feel the need to throw up.  It takes about three heaves before I produce anything, clearly indicating that I'm hurling from my intestines rather than my stomach.  Also, there is little acidity to the puke.  The vomitus in question is light yellow and fluffy with specks of spices - definitely the cheese from the above-mentioned pizza is the culprit.  I alternate between being on my ass and knees for about 3 hours, only getting back to the bed for 15 minute stretches before heading back to the bathroom.

I don't know if I have IBD, but I definitely have IBS at this point.  Before today, I've only had one solid stool in the last 2 weeks.  I chalked it up to being on antibiotics, but maybe it's deeper than that.  I'm also pretty sure that I have some degree of lactose intolerance (most people do) and that exacerbates my problems.  I'm probably going to be going to the doctor on campus this week and talking to them about it before I'm not able to go for an entire summer.  I don't even know what I'm going to do because I don't have health insurance...and it's just ridiculous at this point with all of the gastrointestinal problems I have.

If I don't feel good in an hour, I'm not going to class.  I can't sit there and focus and deal with this.  I'm eating a banana and trying to not give myself a panic attack, but it's hard.

All I want to do is cry.  I hate this so much.