Sex Recovery

So...I think from now on whenever I spent 30+ minutes on a post on PSC, I'm going to save it.  New label category = "Epic Posts"

Me and my boyfriend have had this problem in the past, however it is reversed. I am your man and he is you in our relationship in regards to sex. I want it all the time, he could go without it for a couple of weeks and be fine.

What I would encourage your guy to do is back off. I know in theory that seems counter-productive, but it takes a lot of pressure off of you to perform as well as keeping him from feeling rejected all the time from your "No's". What would hurt me the most is when he would reject me like 5 times in a row. It would feel like I was doing everything I could - trying all times of the day, spending lots of time foreplaying him in all the ways he liked, even being understanding about his rejections and saving him from a guilt trip. When it comes down to it, though, every rejection beats him down just a little more. The best way for him to avoid this, and as well avoid you from feeling guilty, is to stop initiating for awhile.

He needs to let you come to him. Obviously you have made it abundantly clear that you are still attracted to him and you enjoy your sex life, but I'm sure you felt like my boyfriend: objectified. From his point of view, he felt like the relationship had become based around whether we had sex or not. If he let me have sex with him, I was happy and everything was fine. If he rejected me, he needed to prepare for me to withdraw a bit and feel increasingly guilty about not satisfying me sexually. He also told me that he no longer trusted my touches to be genuine - meaning that he didn't think I could rub or massage him without having the ulterior motive of wanting sex.

The way that we got our sex life on track was by recognizing a few truths:
1. Sexual interest between couples simply wanes after dating a long period of time. It would be highly unlikely for both of you to keep fucking like rabbits for your whole lives. If I had to guess, I'm sure your boyfriend's sexual interest has waned a bit as well, but because of the current situation, it is focused on you. If he was honest with himself, he would probably admit that he is okay with less sex now than he was at the beginning when it was fresh and new.
2. The act of intercourse is not the beginning nor the end of intimacy. Going back to where I talked about him not trusting my touches to be genuine, this was something that we really had to work on. I'm sure to some degree when your boyfriend becomes sweet with you, you expect him to try to initiate intercourse. The reality is that intercourse is only one part of intimacy. I'll speak only for myself, but I find that kissing, cuddling and rubbing is a close second to an orgasm, especially with someone you love. When you trust that he can be close to you in intimate ways without expecting you to perform sexually, it will be easier for you to initiate or go with the flow of him initiating without waiting in fear of him to ask or "go for it" and have the possibility of rejecting. For my relationship, we did this by me giving each other hand massages, rubbing our head/hair, and cuddling in bed with no motives to have sex. Not only did it make him feel less objectified, it gave me pleasure as well.
3. Focus on the sole sexual pleasure of the other. Never, ever count out oral/manual sex as being an important part of a relationship. If you aren't up for sexual intercourse, you still could be up for giving him a blowjob/handjob, right? Sometimes it's something as simple as satisfying his sexual needs without asking for it in return, or vice-versa, that gets the sex life fired up again. You never know, you might start out with a blowjob, and then all of a sudden you're in doggie getting your brains fucked out. I know that it turns my boyfriend way on to orally stimulate me, so when I first proposed this idea, he thought it was a trick. The reality is that sometimes you do have to "take one for the team" and if you are super against having sex when you aren't into it, this is a good way to compromise.
4. Allow masturbation without limits. When he saw that it was okay for him to just kiss me, pinch my nipples, etc while I masturbated, or for me to head into the other room with my vibrator and some good quality lesbo porn, it took even more pressure off of him to perform. If your guy is horny and you aren't into doing anything sexual in nature, suggest that he masturbate while you guys make-out. It will keep him stimulated while also giving you that intimate connection that I know you are looking for. It also shows him that it's okay and acceptable for him to masturbate.

Is the discharge problem because of him cumming inside of you? Because man, I have that same thing and I can't even tell you how annoying it is. For days afterward it feels like his cum just keeps leaking out. The way we have resolved this is that he either wears a condom (which he normally does about midway to last longer) or he pulls out. He no longer cums in me like he did when I was on birth control. Yes, it feels better for him to cum inside of me, but 1. don't want pregnancy and 2. it is such an annoyance for me. If your guy likes the feeling of cumming inside of you a lot without a condom, try finishing him with your mouth and swallowing. That's not a big sacrifice for me, but for some women it might be, just remember it's all about compromise.

If you keep the lines of communication open, you can get through this. I promise. It's hard to be so honest about sex with your partner, and when I look back sometimes, I'm surprised that I was this mature about all of this at ages 20-21. Many, many couples just pretend this isn't happening and ignore it, or keep going through the frustrating cycle of try, deny, try, deny over and over again. Don't do that. If I did, you can, too. You're a smart woman. The men have a hard time jumping on board, I will tell you that, but once they see that it really does improve your sex life, they will be game for it as well.

Good luck.