Saturday, April 10, 2010

Saturday, March 20, 2010 @ 6:40 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIx7yW9FMfw

Quote:
MELCHIOR
There’s a moment you know…you’re fucked –
Not an inch more room to self-destruct
No more moves
– oh yeah, the dead-end zone

Man, you just can’t call your soul your own

OTTO (Spoken)
But the thing that makes you really jump
Is that the weirdest shit is still to come
You can ask yourself: “Hey, what have I done?”
You’re just a fly – the little guys, they kill for fun

GEORG
Man, you’re fucked if you just freeze up
Can’t do that thing – that keeping still

HANSCHEN
But, you’re fucked if you speak your mind

GEORG, HANSECHEN & OTTO
And you know – uh huh – you will

ALL
Yeah, you’re fucked all right – and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?
Well you know they’re gonna try


MELCHIOR (Spoken)
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

ALL (Spoken)
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

MELCHIOR
Disappear – yeah, well, you wanna try
Wanna bundle up into some big ass lie
Long enough for them to all just quit
Long enough for you to get out of it

ALL
Yeah, you’re fucked all right – and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?
Well you know they’re gonna try

Yeah, you’re fucked all right – and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?
Well you know they’re gonna try


Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah


Totally fucked!


I love this song. It's realistic about the fact that people are always waiting around the corner wanting to bring you down.

For much of my life, I have spent a good portion giving out my help without asking something of other people in return. My clinical instructor told me that I need to stop doing that.

"I know that you are a kind person, and you want to be helpful because you want them to have you back later. The truth is that sometimes you have to learn how to say no."

My mom tells me that. My dad tells me that. A tells me that. M tells me that. Now my clinical instructor is telling me to stop giving a shit if I am a little more selfish with my free time and workload. I am allowed to tell someone that I am busy, that I am stressed, and that I do not want to hang out with them or that I do not have time to help them do something because my patient needs me.

I think it comes down to the fact that I feel so horribly guilty whenever I turn someone down for something. I don't like to tell people "no" because I'm scared that they won't ask me again. After all, we all want to be liked and needed, and I am no exception. I worry that if I do not help my classmates, they will not help me. I worry that if I do not go out with my best friend every weekend, she will not keep asking me. Irrational? Yes, these are quite irrational fears.

The problem with my mindset is that I can be taken advantage of by friends and co-workers very easily if I don't change it. Sometimes I feel like a crazy dichotomy. When I really need to be a bitch, I release her, but most of the time I am a really nice person. I do have a big heart and my feelings do get hurt easily by people I care about...I let this softie side of me keep me from standing up for myself in lieu of being polite or prim or proper or professional.

I guess I have yet to strike the balance.

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